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| Having an adventure with friends on the Frio River |
Our family
recently returned “home” to Texas from Cambodia for a six week visit. Living in
Cambodia, we live in very different circumstances than we were accustomed to in
Texas. So, when we decided to travel back to Texas I caught myself thinking I
wanted our family to experience “normal” life during that time. I started
thinking of all of the things I wanted my three boys to be able to do while we
were there.
When we
arrived I quickly started giving them opportunities to experience things that
were “normal” summer time activities to me growing up:
·
Mowing the lawn
·
Shooting a bow and arrow, a 22 rifle, a shotgun and a
deer rifle
·
Learning to drive a car (only the 14 year old)
·
Waterskiing
·
Cutting up a tree with a chainsaw
·
Attending family reunions
·
Camping, fishing and tubing down a river
·
Working to earn some extra cash
·
Attending Church where the service is conducted in our
native language
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| Reece hugging his Great Grandmother at a family reunion |
We had a
great time during our six week visit, but I began to think about the fact my
three boys would never consider these things as “normal”. My boys are what they
call “Third Culture Kids”. They are no longer living in their “home” culture or
the culture of their parents, but at the same time they will never completely
be a part of the Cambodian culture because they are not ethnic Cambodians. They
will live in this strange place in between two cultures, hence the name “Third
Culture”. This means it will be
difficult for them to ever do “normal” activities in either culture.
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| Micah shooting his compound bow |
With my
boys living in this interesting cultural place I began to worry they wouldn’t
be a part of “normal” activities anywhere. Then I realized I was worrying too
much about “normal” activities and not enough about the values I wanted to
instill in my three sons. I realized I loved the activities they did this
summer because they communicate values to my boys. When I started looking at what I wanted my boys to
experience in terms of values, not activities, then it became easier to think
about what activities they could do to build these values. It’s the values I
want to be a “normal” thing in their lives not activities.
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| Kyler helping dad barbecue |
What are
the “normal” activities my children and yours are involved in? What are the
values those activities are communicating and instilling in our children? Maybe what is
considered a “normal” activity for kids isn’t instilling
what should be “normal” values.
After
thinking about our summer I came up with a set of values I think should be
“normal” for my boys. It’s by no means an exhaustive list, but it’s a start.
·
Belonging to and being part of a family
·
Learning to take care of daily responsibilities
·
Learning to work hard and enjoy the feeling of
accomplishment
·
Taking time to have fun
·
Learning to be adventurous
·
Loving and serving God no matter what day it is or
where they are at
Now that I
have the values part straight the activities seem to be coming a lot easier. I
also don’t feel as guilty because my kids aren’t experiencing what other kids
from their home country are experiencing. And, I don’t feel guilty for telling them NO when I think an
activity communicates a value that isn’t a positive one.
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| Micah waterskiing |
