A Very Merry Christmas

Yesterday morning (Dec 23) Tricia and I found ourselves in a room with dozens of  newborns and their mothers, many of them teenagers. These little ones were all miracles that started out as crisis pregnancies.  Moms who were once filled with fear, worry and were out of options now had beautiful babies and lives filled with hope.

In the afternoon we found ourselves in a room packed with over 180 young ladies who had either made a decision to leave a livelihood in the Karaoke Bars, sometimes fronts for brothels, or were in the process of making this life-change decision.

What was the reason these groups were together? It is Christmas in Cambodia!!! They had all been invited to come and celebrate Christmas and find out what Christmas is all about.

You might ask what Christmas looks like in Cambodia. In many ways it looks like just another workday. Cambodia is a country where 98% of the population are non-Christian and Christmas is not a national holiday. The vast majority of Cambodians have never heard the Christmas story or celebrate it in any way.

But, for those Cambodians who celebrate Christmas it is a huge party that can take place anywhere in the months of December and January. The whole focus of the party is to celebrate the birth of Jesus and to tell everyone you know, neighbors, friends, clients, etc., about the birth and life of Jesus. The excitement of telling people about Christ and the curiosity of those who’ve never heard is something I’ll never get tired of. Churches have standing room only crowds where people are curious to hear what Christmas is all about.

This has been a joyous Christmas for me as I’ve been a part of the Church truly heeding Jesus’ words “whatever you did for one of the least of these… you did for me.” It is refreshing that the focus of Christmas isn’t a single day, or about giving gifts, but about declaring the birth of our King.

Being far away from home and family during Christmas is always difficult. Tricia, the boys and I always feel down and miss all of our family celebrations during this time of year.  But what we’ve found in Cambodia is refreshing and inspiring during the Christmas Season. It’s during this season that we are proud to be a part of the lives of leaders of organizations like Precious Women, Mother’s Heart and New Life Fellowship.

Your gift makes the work of the Hester family in Cambodia possible, and we work hard to maximize each dollar entrusted to us. We are grateful for the generous support of many individuals and organizations that share our commitment to informed, responsible and effective service in Cambodia. To partner with us in 2015 Please Click Here.

Butterfly Home

I am given a tender moment that is brief to meet a 22 year old precious woman of God named Rotha.  Her story is not unusual for many young Cambodian women, but it is difficult to listen as she shares. It is not easy to grasp or imagine for just a moment how an experience such as hers can occur to such a vulnerable young girl.

Rotha has been living in the “Butterfly Home” for over a year now at an organization called Precious Women (PW). She is smiling as Sopeak, a social worker at PW, interprets for me.  Sopeak interjects that when Rotha arrived at PW, she never smiled, but now she smiles all the time and “is so happy”.  Rotha continues and says “God is good! And he saved me!”

"Precious Women help to make me strong & have hope again"

When Rotha was just 13 years old, she left her province of Steung Mencheay in search of a job to help support her family.  Roth shares “I met many problems in my life”.  Her friend told her that if she traveled to the capital of Phnom Penh she could work as a cleaner and make “good money” to help her family. Upon arriving to the city, she took up a cleaning job at a karaoke beer garden, which is a common location for “hostesses” to work in the sex industry.  At the age of 13, she was unable to earn enough money for food or housing and began working as a hostess.  “I became hopeless when I began to sell myself to customers, but I had no food and was hungry. I could not return to my family because I was embarrassed”. 

Over the next 7 years, Rotha worked at multiple beer gardens as a hostess. She shares that she attempted one time to leave, and took a job as a masseuse in a spa in Siem Reap hoping for a better life.  After her job began, she was sexually abused by a customer and immediately left, returning to Phnom Penh. At the age of 21, without food or shelter, she returned working as a hostess again at a local beer garden. It was at that time that Rotha met a staff member of PW during a Friday night outreach and was invited to come for a Women’s Fellowship Party. 

Women's Fellowship Party 

Rotha attended the Women’s Fellowship Party and began receiving counseling. PW provided Rotha with a bicycle for transportation and began reaching out to her. She shares “I get love from people at Precious Women and I began to study the Bible”.  Shortly after, Rotha was able to exit the sex industry because PW provided her with housing at the Butterfly Home. In addition, for the last year, Rotha has been enrolled in salon skills training provided by PW and works part-time at Roomchang Spa in her new career field as a cosmetologist.  

Rotha is excited to share, “Precious Women help to make me strong and have hope again! I am happy to live in the Butterfly Home because I have a place to live so I can stop my work [at the beer gardens]”. She continues, “I love God because he is the only one that can change me.”

I was humbled this day to be able to hear the amazing redemptive story of Rotha and how God uses Precious Women to impact the lives of so many women in Cambodia. Through careful counseling and unconditional love, Sopeak was able to help Rotha gain back her confidence through education, new skills training, and employment opportunities.

 I am honored to have had this moment with Rotha and to also serve as chairwoman of Precious Women organization! To learn more about this organization, please visit www.preciouswomenministry.org (For confidentiality purposes, Rotha’s real name was not used)

                                                                                        Blessings,   

                                                                                                         Tricia

Ministry Team from Abilene, Texas hosting Women's Fellowship Party! (July 2014)

Living In a Village with Ten Elephants: Mondulkiri, Cambodia

 Our family has always had the motto, Work Hard Play Hard , so when the annual Pchum Ben holiday came up this year we looked for something exciting. That’s when a friend offered the use of his traditional Khmer home for the holiday. His home is in a remote area of Cambodia, that until the last few years hasn’t had paved road access.  Tricia and I neither one had been to this part of the country, so experiencing a new place and new culture sounded exciting.

We knew Mondulkiri was supposed to have beautiful forests and be a more mountainous area (which means cooler temperatures) than the rest of Cambodia, but when our friend said 10 elephants lived in the village where his home was, we decided this definitely had to be the next Hester adventure.

Our adventure started with a 7-hour drive on a mostly paved, but very bumpy road from Phnom Penh. We decided to take an SUV, so I drove and we took our chances. We have gotten confident enough in our knowledge of the Khmer language to venture out on our own! As we got close to Sen Monorom, the capital of Mondulkiri we began to realize we were definitely in a part of the country that was very different from everything we had seen in other parts of Cambodia.

  

A homemade hydroelectric power plant

The terrain was hilly and green. The landscape changed from tropical forest to pine forest and then back again. The temperature was several degrees cooler as well. The last hour and a half was road that was only a few years old and in great condition. I got to enjoy the scenery and the drive!

When we arrived in the provincial capital of Sen Monorom it was a small Cambodian town. We were happy to be in a place where life moved at a slower pace. The village where we were staying was 7 kilometers outside of the capital city. Putang village is a traditional Bunong village. The Bunong are a tribal people who historically have been the primary inhabitants of this part of Cambodia. While the new road has brought an influx of Khmer businesspeople to the province many of the villages are still primarily Bunong. They have their own spoken language and culture. Our host, Vanny, was Bunong, but was also fluent in both Khmer and English.

We enjoyed a great holiday on a hilltop home overlooking the countryside. We would wake up each cool morning to the sound of ringing cowbells as the herds of cattle and water buffalo grazed just outside our window. Other than the occasional rooster, that was the only sound we heard. It was amazingly peaceful and restful.

On our first morning I looked out my window to see an elephant and his “mahout” (trainer) on their way to the forest and fields to work. The Bunong still use elephants to forage for food and wood in the forest, or to work the rice fields hidden away in the valleys.

Unfortunately there are no more wild elephants in the area due to deforestation and hunting for ivory. Elephants can live up to 45 years in captivity and up to 70 years in the wild, so the elephants in the village had been tamed years ago before the deforestation and drastic reduction of the number of elephants in the area. This was a sad side to the trip realizing that the Asian elephant population is disappearing along with the Bunong way of life.

Many tourists ride the elephants on day-long treks which are very laborious for the elephants. We decided this was not something we wanted to be a part of. Instead we bought a few snoots of bananas from a villager and let the boys feed one of the elephants. His mahout then insisted that the boys take a little ride for a few minutes, which they were happy to get to do.

Tricia and I at the top of a small waterfall

Tricia and the boys looking at a hillside banana plot

Part of our time in the village consisted of trekking through the hills and forest where we found a beautiful waterfall and enjoyed idyllic views of rice fields and banana plantations on the hillsides. We had quite an adventure when our ninja, Reece, attacked and killed a bamboo shoot. Little did he know there was a wasp nest inside the bamboo shoot and that the shoot containing the wasp nest would fall over our trail, blocking our way home. Maybe I’ll share more on our 2 waterfall stories in another post!

The rest of our village stay consisted of learning more about the village culture. We were able to buy a handmade basket that villagers wear on their back and use to carry food and wood they forage in the forest. We learned how to make traditional jar wine (rice wine in a large ceramic pot), how to make a local form of tobacco and enjoyed the fresh fruits available from the local trees. 

Kyler enjoying swinging in the vines

It was also great to be able to live in a Khmer village home and experience day to day village life. We did have running water in the bathroom thanks to a rainwater storage system! It was all a welcome retreat from Phnom Penh and a great opportunity to experience a new part of Cambodia. I’ll share more on our two waterfall adventures in another post. I’m thinking of calling it Ninjas, wasps, waterfalls and scantily clad men!

What I've Been Reading Lately

Over the last year I have read a number of books that have had a significant impact on my life. It’s been a while since I’ve recommended or reviewed any books, so here are a few that have been on my reading list.

The Barbarian Way: Unleash the Untamed Faith Within by Erwin McManus

While many people have questioned my sanity for choices I’ve made in life, I still often feel I play it too safe. Christ calls us to a life of radical obedience that often requires substantial risk, but provides significant eternal rewards and a fulfilling life. The Barbarian Way is a short read that will challenge you to unleash a radical life of faith. DANGER: If nominal Christrianity is the norm in your community, it will definitely offend and may even cause you to consider unreasonable courses of action.

Give and Take:Why Helping Others Drives Our Success by Adam M. Grant 

The best book on being a giving person I have ever read, hands down. It provides great wisdom on being a good steward of your time, skills, emotions and resources as you aspire to be a giver. It also delves into the subject of why those who consistently take “seem” to always get ahead.  Give and Take is well thought out and well researched. This book, while not written as a Christian book, contains more depth on the subject of the gift of giving than any teaching in the Church I have ever heard.  It has definitely been a milestone book in my personal development.
 

 
 

Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin H. Friedman

When we enter a family, a church or an organization we bring all of our past and experiences, as well of those of our family, into the new community. Generation to Generation is a deeply insightful book that will help you develop yourself personally while breaking certain negative generational patterns. If you are a leader, pastor, counselor or just a friend of someone who is seeking help, this book is invaluable in helping you walk through the process. Not just treating symptoms, or identifying problems, but helping someone become healthy as an individual. It is also for helping families and churches develop a healthy culture of self-differentiation and encouraging each member to be responsible for his or her own self.

A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin H. Friedman

As an extension of Generation to Generation, this book looks at the anxiety of todays society and its effects on our families, churches and organizations. This clarion call for personal strength encourages leaders to live a countercultural and self-differentiated life that can bring about true change in whatever sphere of influence you may have.

CAUTION: These books by Friedman are written at a textbook academic level, not for inspirational light reading.
 

How Will You Measure Your Life? by Clayton M. Christensen

I’ve always struggled with the demands of being successful. What my heart has really always longed for was to be significant. How Will You Measure Your Life? provided a heartfelt way of measuring life by what truly matters to me as a person. Cast off societal and cultural demands and live life according to what is important to you.

The Way of The Wild Heart : A Map for The Masculine Journey by John Eldredge

Micah and I are reading through this book together. I recommend this book for dads and moms of teenage boys (It’s a great book just for dad too!) The book gives a perspective on the different stages of a developing man through the stories of the Eldredge family and their journeys into manhood. If you are like me it has been a sobering and challenging task to be responsible for fathering a young man. The Way of the Wild at Heart has truly helped me map out the process of helping a young boy move towards godly manhood through the right balance of hard work and adventure.

Counterfeit Gods: The Empty Promises of Money, Sex, and Power, and the Only Hope that Matters by Timothy Keller

The title says it all and doesn’t need much explanation.  This was my introduction to Tim Keller as an author and I was pleasantly surprised. Keller provides depth and biblical insight that is often missing in many Christian books. He addresses sensitive topics without all the guilt, hype or sensationlism.

What is “Normal”? Whether you are a millionaire or a missionary.

Having an adventure with friends on the Frio River

Our family recently returned “home” to Texas from Cambodia for a six week visit. Living in Cambodia, we live in very different circumstances than we were accustomed to in Texas. So, when we decided to travel back to Texas I caught myself thinking I wanted our family to experience “normal” life during that time. I started thinking of all of the things I wanted my three boys to be able to do while we were there.

When we arrived I quickly started giving them opportunities to experience things that were “normal” summer time activities to me growing up:

·      Mowing the lawn

·      Shooting a bow and arrow, a 22 rifle, a shotgun and a deer rifle

·      Learning to drive a car (only the 14 year old)

·      Waterskiing

·      Cutting up a tree with a chainsaw

·      Attending family reunions

·      Camping, fishing and tubing down a river

·      Working to earn some extra cash

·      Attending Church where the service is conducted in our native language

Reece hugging his Great Grandmother at a family reunion

We had a great time during our six week visit, but I began to think about the fact my three boys would never consider these things as “normal”. My boys are what they call “Third Culture Kids”. They are no longer living in their “home” culture or the culture of their parents, but at the same time they will never completely be a part of the Cambodian culture because they are not ethnic Cambodians. They will live in this strange place in between two cultures, hence the name “Third Culture”.  This means it will be difficult for them to ever do “normal” activities in either culture.

Micah shooting his compound bow

With my boys living in this interesting cultural place I began to worry they wouldn’t be a part of “normal” activities anywhere. Then I realized I was worrying too much about “normal” activities and not enough about the values I wanted to instill in my three sons. I realized I loved the activities they did this summer because they communicate values to my boys.  When I started looking at what I wanted my boys to experience in terms of values, not activities, then it became easier to think about what activities they could do to build these values. It’s the values I want to be a “normal” thing in their lives not activities.

Kyler helping dad barbecue

What are the “normal” activities my children and yours are involved in? What are the values those activities are communicating and instilling in our children? Maybe what is considered a “normal” activity for kids isn’t instilling what should be “normal” values.

After thinking about our summer I came up with a set of values I think should be “normal” for my boys. It’s by no means an exhaustive list, but it’s a start.

·      Belonging to and being part of a family

·      Learning to take care of daily responsibilities

·      Learning to work hard and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment

·      Taking time to have fun

·      Learning to be adventurous

·      Loving and serving God no matter what day it is or where they are at

Now that I have the values part straight the activities seem to be coming a lot easier. I also don’t feel as guilty because my kids aren’t experiencing what other kids from their home country are experiencing.  And, I don’t feel guilty for telling them NO when I think an activity communicates a value that isn’t a positive one.

Micah waterskiing