What is “Normal”? Whether you are a millionaire or a missionary.

Having an adventure with friends on the Frio River

Our family recently returned “home” to Texas from Cambodia for a six week visit. Living in Cambodia, we live in very different circumstances than we were accustomed to in Texas. So, when we decided to travel back to Texas I caught myself thinking I wanted our family to experience “normal” life during that time. I started thinking of all of the things I wanted my three boys to be able to do while we were there.

When we arrived I quickly started giving them opportunities to experience things that were “normal” summer time activities to me growing up:

·      Mowing the lawn

·      Shooting a bow and arrow, a 22 rifle, a shotgun and a deer rifle

·      Learning to drive a car (only the 14 year old)

·      Waterskiing

·      Cutting up a tree with a chainsaw

·      Attending family reunions

·      Camping, fishing and tubing down a river

·      Working to earn some extra cash

·      Attending Church where the service is conducted in our native language

Reece hugging his Great Grandmother at a family reunion

We had a great time during our six week visit, but I began to think about the fact my three boys would never consider these things as “normal”. My boys are what they call “Third Culture Kids”. They are no longer living in their “home” culture or the culture of their parents, but at the same time they will never completely be a part of the Cambodian culture because they are not ethnic Cambodians. They will live in this strange place in between two cultures, hence the name “Third Culture”.  This means it will be difficult for them to ever do “normal” activities in either culture.

Micah shooting his compound bow

With my boys living in this interesting cultural place I began to worry they wouldn’t be a part of “normal” activities anywhere. Then I realized I was worrying too much about “normal” activities and not enough about the values I wanted to instill in my three sons. I realized I loved the activities they did this summer because they communicate values to my boys.  When I started looking at what I wanted my boys to experience in terms of values, not activities, then it became easier to think about what activities they could do to build these values. It’s the values I want to be a “normal” thing in their lives not activities.

Kyler helping dad barbecue

What are the “normal” activities my children and yours are involved in? What are the values those activities are communicating and instilling in our children? Maybe what is considered a “normal” activity for kids isn’t instilling what should be “normal” values.

After thinking about our summer I came up with a set of values I think should be “normal” for my boys. It’s by no means an exhaustive list, but it’s a start.

·      Belonging to and being part of a family

·      Learning to take care of daily responsibilities

·      Learning to work hard and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment

·      Taking time to have fun

·      Learning to be adventurous

·      Loving and serving God no matter what day it is or where they are at

Now that I have the values part straight the activities seem to be coming a lot easier. I also don’t feel as guilty because my kids aren’t experiencing what other kids from their home country are experiencing.  And, I don’t feel guilty for telling them NO when I think an activity communicates a value that isn’t a positive one.

Micah waterskiing