It's Been A Tough Week

When we started this week I knew it was going to be a bit of a depressing week, but it got worse as the week went along. We have known for a while that 6 families, we had grown close to, would be moving on to the next place God is calling them in their journey. We were excited for each of them as they were embarking on new adventures, but sad we would no longer be part of their daily lives. It has affected the whole family as one is Reece’s best friend Gabe, another is a family in our apartment building whose kids are playmates with Kyler and Reece, and others we work with at New Life and are in our weekly life group. The fact they were all leaving within one week of each other made it a pretty significant change for us.

As the week went on I was reading a prayer letter from a friend and took note of this paragraph:

“There is a scale we sometimes used in Psychology called the Holmes Rahe Life Stress Inventory. It asks you to note any major life events that you have experienced in the last year, and accords them a score based on how stressful they are. When you have a score of 300+ points in one year, you are likely to get ill and require hospital admission, as a result of the stress. However, research has shown that missionaries and other cross cultural workers can reach 800-900 in the first year and average out at about 600 points annually after that. Life on the mission field is stressful!”

After reading the paragraph I went online and took this stress inventory. It asked me to mark major life events I’ve experienced recently and then gave me a score of the level of stress I should be experiencing. Let’s just say I should be providing a Cambodian doctor with a steady stream of income!

The day after I took the stress inventory, I went to work and found out some horrific news. A young South Korean missionary family who had spent the last two years in Phnom Penh in language school had launched out the day before, moving to Siem Reap to begin their missionary work. On the drive to their new city and ministry their car was hit by a bus. The mother, father and two of the children were killed. Two more children were seriously injured including the 7 year old, Esther, who had not only lost her mother, father and siblings, but lost her arm and has brain injuries. Esther is in Reece’s class at Hope and is a friend. As I digested the news, I was of course heartbroken for the family, but also wondering how I would go home and break the news to my family. How do I tell Reece about his friend? How do I keep the whole family from being fearful about life in Cambodia? It isn’t hard to imagine this could just as easily be our family.

This week, along with two years of other experiences, has caused me to deeply consider the question, “Is it healthy for my family to be here?”  When we embarked on this adventure I would often use the saying I had heard so many others use, “The safest place for a person to be is in the center of God’s will.” I’ve truly believed the reason I’m not in a hospital somewhere is because of the “peace of God that passes all understanding” guarding my (and my family’s) heart and mind from the stresses of life in Cambodia that could easily disable us. But knowing this Korean family has shaken me a bit this week.

It was then that I read a chapter in The Barbarian Way by Erwin McManus. Erwin had researched the often-quoted saying about safety in God’s will. Interestingly, the original source of that quote was Corrie Ten Boom. Corrie had made this statement referring to her time as a prisoner, with her sister, in a Nazi prison camp. In that place of “safety” her and her sister shared Christ, but her sister soon died as a result of the horrible conditions. I wonder if people who so easily use this saying really know it’s original context. I didn’t.

Christ’s call to us is “take up your cross and follow Him”. Where He leads us may not be safe, but one thing I am assured of this week is that He is here with us. In Western theology we have too easily allowed the idea that accepting Christ means we will live a life of ease creep into our hearts and minds. We forget to read the full chapter on heroes of the faith in Hebrew’s 11, enjoying the first half of the chapter, but ignoring the part saying most of them never lived to see the fruit of their faith.

I’m not in a morbid state of mind, nor am I thinking of living a foolish life with my family. I am simply recognizing Christ’s call to each of us is to take up our cross and follow. I’m reminding myself this week that it is the Grace of God that makes us distinct from the rest of the world. It is the Grace of God that enables us to encounter stressful life experiences, and yet live a life of health. Graham Cooke once said there are no good days or bad days, simply days of Grace.  Pray for our family as we learn to live in this realm of Grace. This has been a Grace-filled week!

Wayne